Two-Percenters Protest Being Dragged to Games By Sitting During War Hymn Two-Percenters Protest Being Dragged to Games By Sitting During War Hymn
Having been pressured into standing another four hours to watch a middling football program struggle through conference play, hundreds of two-percenters silently sat in... Two-Percenters Protest Being Dragged to Games By Sitting During War Hymn

Having been pressured into standing another four hours to watch a middling football program struggle through conference play, hundreds of two-percenters silently sat in protest during the War Hymn at Kyle Field Saturday evening.

The protest was reportedly a response to calls from the university’s administration, Old Army, and sanctimonious freshmen who insist that everyone attend and stand through the entirety of every home game, regardless of entertainment value.

Junior protester Kalela Harris defended the legitimacy of the demonstration. “This is the only way we can get the redasses to listen at this point,” said Harris. “We’re tired, it’s hot, our feet hurt, the music is loud, and the guy behind us keeps screaming ‘go for it’ on fourth and fifteen. We want to go home. Our silence will speak for us.”

There was immediate backlash and confusion in the student section, as fans trying to lock arms with protesters to “saw Varsity’s horns off” were left hanging. Freshman Rodney Ballard was one of many to take to Facebook and draft an angry response.

“There’s just no excuse for refusing to stand and sing the War Hymn,” wrote Ballard on his personal Facebook page. “Seeing upperclassmen show such disrespect is appalling. I went to Fish Camp, and I’m in a FLO, so I’m pretty sure I’m already a better Aggie than these snowflakes.”

Protesters assert that remaining seated during the War Hymn is not about disrespecting a gameday tradition, but about peacefully expressing that they would have rather stayed in their apartment, done some homework, and caught up on Rick & Morty.

“I hear a lot of people saying, ‘If you don’t like it, don’t show up to the games,’” said Harris. “It’s not that simple. All my friends clear their schedules and then expect me to show up and sweat my ass off. So yeah, I’m going to sit down until I absolutely have to stand. They can play that song to chig-gar-roo-gar-rem and back as far as I care.”

 

—Hullakazoo

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Hullakazoo

Hullakazoo is a dirty, filthy pledge of The Mugdown, and has not earned a writer bio yet! Check back next semester!

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