Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Freshman Confuses Exercise Bikes at Evans for Renovated Rec Center

By Buffalo Wild Wags , in Campus Life , at September 19, 2017 Tags: , , ,

Constant construction across campus is a familiar sight for all Texas A&M students. Freshmen are often confused when crossing campus, unaware of the changing building names throughout a sea of forklifts and caution tape. Freshman Jack Christy discovered that the FitDesk Bike Desks installed in August at Evans, Medical Sciences, and West Campus Libraries are, in fact, not part of the renovated Student Recreation Center.

Christy, a Kinesiology major, has begun visiting the library since before classes started and utilizes the bikes as part of his daily workout routine. “I just wanted to get my weekly cycle in,” said Christy, with a shrug. “Back home, I was the kicker for my high school football team, so I’m a super athletic guy. The bikes were so nice, and I could even set my laptop up to watch Netflix. I just assumed it was the Rec.”

Christy is not the only student utilizing the exercise bikes on a daily basis. As Evans Library increasingly becomes a social hub for Starbucks enthusiasts, the space has also become a natural home for workout enthusiasts. The bikes were installed for students who lack the spare time to make the ten-minute trek to the Rec and would rather sweat it out while writing a POLS 207 current events paper. There are even wipes supplied so that perspiring students don’t leave traces of their sweat on the desk surface following their strenuous workouts.

Amaris Larson, an Electrical Engineering major in her fifth year, reminisced on a time when the library was just a library. “Every time I go to Evans to study in my favorite corner on the 5th floor, I hear grunting noises all the way from the exercise bikes,” said Larson. “Why can’t those pumped-up maniacs just go to the Rec and leave Evans as it was? I hate the Starbucks, too. They don’t have those muffins that Poor Yorick’s used to stock. I miss those muffins.”

Due to increased wait time for exercise machines at the Rec, students are flocking to the machines at the three libraries. Following a Texas A&M Health Science Center report that showed the $54 million renovation of the Student Recreation Center has been ineffective at combatting the “Freshman 15,” the Texas A&M University Libraries are stepping up to help conquer the issue.

“We are recommending students laminate their notes to prevent them from perspiring all over their papers,” said Library Associate Susan Deijkstra. “Students won’t need to bring headphones to the library anymore, because they will have a constant serenade of grunts and dripping sweat coming from the exercise bikes. The chorus of heavy breathing and slapping thighs could beat the new Taylor Swift or Katy Perry song any day.”

—Buffalo Wild Wags