The Student Recreation Center’s expansion failed to deal with an issue that plagues many of the gym’s regular attendees: seasonal overcrowding. Yet, regular Rec patrons have begun to notice no decrease in gym attendees who have, in the past, typically stopped showing up after the first round of exams. Many of the people tired of casual goers overcrowding the gym have formed a group called “TAMU Alternative Exercise” to decrease turnout at the recreation center.
“The first sign should have been that the New Year’s Resolutioners stayed after the first three weeks,” said gym regular James Twist. “Once the crowd didn’t diminish in time for the Spring Breakers to arrive, I knew I would forever have to wait fifteen minutes for a squat rack. The attendance rate has only increased as now the Summer Bod crowd arrives to finish out the semester.”
The new organization’s aim is to target the vast majority of students using the Rec for one exercise before spending the next hour looking at their phone or socializing, while taking up a weight platform or machine. TAMU Alternative Exercise hopes to spread their message by banner holding common facts that will justify students’ beliefs that they do not need to exercise at the Rec
“At first we considered telling people they had to buy a membership at the student recreation center,” said junior allied health major Oliver London. “Instead, we decided that holding banners with messages such as ‘Lifting Weights Will Make Women Bulky’ can accomplish the same goal, since it leaves students feeling like they don’t need to come at all.”
The group plans on rotating several banners on campus to increase awareness. Other signs, including “Aggies are Healthy at Any Size” and “One Glass of Wine = 30 Minutes of Exercise,” will appear at various locations throughout the semester. By discouraging people from feeling like they should attend the Rec, the group hopes this will prevent any future overcrowding.
“Is not wanting to spend two hours at the Rec when I go for what should be a one hour workout too high of a demand? Telling other students that ‘Running is Bad for Your Knees’ is ultimately best for them,” said sophomore kinesiology major Jack Adams. “The regulars can actually use the Rec and the people showing up to feel good about themselves can now feel justified in not showing up. It’s not like they were burning any calories when they did come.”
Overall, the group hopes that encouraging students not to spend time at the Rec will serve as a best case scenario for both parties. TAMU Alternative Exercise hopes to release PR shirts with the most popular slogans sometime early next fall.
—Netflix and Drill
Netflix & Drill
Not like that, you pervert. Like Corps drills. Get your mind out of the gutter. “Why is ‘The Bridge on The River Kwai’ not on Netflix,” he shouts. Netflix & Drill doesn’t just stand for the Aggie football games, he remains standing for the entirety of every single weekend the Aggies play football, sitting down only to sleep.