Bumbling Doofus of Professor Makes Mistake on Whiteboard
Tragedy struck a Texas A&M classroom yesterday afternoon when ECEN 214 professor Dr. Samuel Miller accidentally wrote “12 A” instead of “-12 A” while solving a problem in his lecture.
“There was a huge uproar,” said sophomore electrical engineering student Leola Jackson. “I thought there was going to be a riot.”
Multiple witnesses reported hearing loud shouts from behind classroom walls while in the hallways of the Emerging Technologies Building.
Sources from within the classroom report that the escalating unrest was partially quelled when a student, Davis Watershed, corrected Miller. “Uh, shouldn’t that current be negative?” Watershed reportedly said, unknowingly preventing a violent outbreak.
The Mugdown reached out to Miller for comment, but found him in shambles behind his desk, rocking back and forth beneath a dimmed and flickering lamp. “The negative, Sam…the damn negative,”said Miller.
University spokesperson Marvin Lundquist gave a press conference on the matter. “How anyone could be so stupid as to make a mistake in lecture is beyond me. I am appalled to think that we even hired such a moron,” said Lundquist . “At this institution, we pride ourselves on an utterly flawless faculty; students had every right to be incensed at such an asinine goof-up.”
Miller has since had his credentials revoked, and has been placed on administrative leave until the investigation can be concluded. If found guilty, Miller could be facing exile from the academic community according to the traditional Texas A&M punishment, forcing him to begin a new career at Blinn.
Bacon & Ags
It’s Sunday morning and you’ve woken up hungover and confused. “Man, last night’s house party was one for the books,” you think as you try and recall something, anything, about the party. The smell of bacon floats in from the kitchen, and you stumble over to see who’s cooking. You stand there in bewilderment— Bacon & Ags has cleaned up all of the empty bottles, cans, and Solo cups. He has cinnamon rolls warming in the oven, bacon on the stovetop, and an assortment of fruits on the table. You stutter, “Wow… I… uh… well,” but he cuts you off. “I just love a good brunch,” he says. “And since you threw such a great party, I thought the least I could do was clean it up and cook us some brunch! Here, I made some quiche— have some!”