Inside the Puppet Government of the Corps of Cadets
We bring you an inside look at the quiet takeover of the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M. An Exclusive Investigation by The Mugdown.... Inside the Puppet Government of the Corps of Cadets

We bring you an inside look at the quiet takeover of the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M.

An Exclusive Investigation by The Mugdown.


“Gentlemen, I’m sure you understand why I had to call this meeting.”

Six men gathered around a conference table on a Sunday evening in August. Tension filled the air. The men were unusually brief in their salutations, and stared distantly toward the paintings surrounding the room—depictions of cadets and the university through the ages. Their Corps had survived a lot, pondered the officers. How had it come to this?

Finally, the Commandant broke the silence: “Gentlemen, I’m sure you understand why I had to call this meeting.” All nodded, exchanging nervous glances. “For years we have known that the mothers of cadets have organized and, while they may have seemed docile in the past, influential members of the Aggie Moms communities have risen to power. They have created a legion of mothers, grandmothers, and aunts with one goal in mind— to overthrow our rightful control of the Corps of Cadets.  They call themselves Quad Moms, and I believe that… I believe we have a coup d’etat on our hands.”

No longer would the mothers of cadets have to place a call to the Trigon to change Corps policy; the decision-making could be centralized with full control.

Last spring, The Mugdown was approached by a whistleblower within the Trigon about unfair practices regarding the awarding of annual unit awards. We sent one of our reporters to embed themselves within the Office of the Commandant to investigate, and instead, they discovered a silent deposition of the Commandant and his staff.

The Quad Moms organized their junta and set off to take full control of the Corps. No longer would the mothers of cadets have to place a call to the Trigon to change Corps policy; the decision-making could be centralized with full control.

Quad Moms understood the Achilles’ heel of the Office of the Commandant: recruiting and retention. Mothers would need to leverage the membership of their children in order to threaten the Commandant’s primary goal of growing the Corps to 3,000 cadets by the year 2023. The deal was on the table— Moms would ensure their fish’s membership in the Corps if the Commandant stepped into a ceremonial role. Quad Moms had executed a checkmate and the Commandant would have no option but to surrender.

retention-arches

The image of stability was paramount. The Office of the Commandant would remain in their positions, but the camarilla of Quad Moms Officers would grasp the true power over the Corps of Cadets.

Though the Office of the Commandant was stripped of its power quietly behind the thick masonry of the Trigon, Quad Moms are slowly transitioning the become a more public face of control. Their website even lists their address as the newly-conquered Corps of Cadets Association building.

Quad Moms—complete with uniforms—have begun to occupy the Quad to verify that their cadets are being treated with the respect they deserve and are not being asked to do things they do not like. The new Mom uniforms were phased in seamlessly with the newly renovated Quad.

qm-logo-wide

Quad Moms’ first act in power was to improve the Corps lifestyle after receiving numerous complaints from their freshmen. Turning to an already deteriorating 4-class system, Holick’s boots were to become a privilege of all cadets— freshman through senior. Our informant reports that the Commandant suppressed the change in order to protect the Corps’ most valuable whitebelt retention tool.

Other mothers lobbied the cabal of Quad Mom Officers for increased transparency in the interaction between fish and upperclassmen. Plans reveal the placement of Google LiveStream cameras in dorm hallways, in Duncan Dining Center, and mounted across the Quad. There was special interest in providing the pissheads with body cameras that allowed mothers to visually experience their freshman’s Corps experience.

“I enjoy that Mother can critique my pissheads performance. Mother ensures that Mr. Jones sees to my individual needs as a freshman. Whenever Mother sees something she doesn’t like, she immediately texts the Commanding Officer to let him know, along with the Major Unit Commander and Cadet Training Officer,” said Norman Bates, a freshman cadet. “Mother knows best,” said fish Bates as he walked to class, leaving the side of the Quad and making several of his upperclassmen greet him.

Our inside source was forced to flee the area after the Quad Moms set up a physical office within the Trigon. It is uncertain what changes will occur at the bequest of the mothers who now have permanent residence on campus to act as a liaison between Corps parents and university officials.

In the wake of so much loss and change, cadets have found hope in the resilience of the Commandant’s Office to preserve “Big T” Traditions. Frequent support has been given to the enforcement of biders being remained peaked for all cadets except seniors.

—North by Northgate & Netflix and Drill

 

 

quad-moms-academic

mm

Mugdown Staff

  • Angela

    October 25, 2016 #1 Author

    I am a Quad Mom and I approve this message!

    Reply

  • C Retherford

    October 25, 2016 #2 Author

    I’m a Quad mom and I approve this message.

    Reply

  • Aggie Dad

    October 31, 2016 #3 Author

    So accurate it’s scary. A phone call is really all it takes. One.

    Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *