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Students Find God Only to Lose Him Again

By Koldus & Cream , in Campus Life Local News , at September 22, 2016 Tags: , , , , ,

Thousands of students are not the only force that storms through College Station every fall. Along with the longest grocery lines since Y2K, fall unfailingly brings a religious resurgence across the entire community.

Preceding countless summer nights on Sixth Street and in Uptown Dallas, many students leave their spirituality in the Historic District between semesters, before rediscovering them each fall semester. “I completely forgot I was a Christian during the summer, but now that all my roommates are going to church again, I am fully devoted to my church community,” said junior Communications major Francis Pinkman. Local churches have reached maximum capacity every Sunday since students arrived— just as they do every fall— and Bible Studies are easier to find than fish sleeping on a couch in Evans.

This year’s revival has shattered the expected downward religious spiral predicted with the departure of College Station’s patron saint, Ben Stuart. Even Impact camps are still hanging out, and have yet to spurn each other to the friendship status of a subtle nod or awkward wave in the MSC. “I’m so thankful for Breakaway, my accountability partners from camp, and some healthy peer pressure for bringing me fully back to my faith. During my summer, I almost forgot about it completely,” said Kimmy Donaldson, a sophomore engineering major.

Despite this season’ surprising surge, the plunge is right on schedule. After a couple weekends spent on Northgate and complaining about Keith Swim, churches are starting to look like the gym in February. Much to the chagrin of pastors everywhere, no one has noticed…life moves on as religious entities once again wait for next fall.

—Koldus & Cream