With spring break about 24 hours, 23 minutes, and 12 seconds after the publishing of this article (but who is counting, right?), every student still in College Station, present company included, has honestly stopped giving a flying f@$#.
“OMG school sucks,” said Becky Summers, just now. “I hate that I’m not on a beach or drinking or at home on my couch slowly becoming an immobile vegetable. I’ll just scribble something down on my test and worry about the grade when I get back.”
Summers is not the only one turning in assignments that could only be described as “absolute crap.”
“These assignments are absolute crap,” says every professor employed by the Texas A&M System. “The week before Spring Break, everything these students touch spontaneously turns into huge piles of elephant excrement.”
Will students be able to pull their grades around? Will we all survive the actual hangover that is the week following Spring Break? Do I honestly care what the answers are?
Not a chance.
I’m too lazy for a conclusion. I’m calling it a week. Feel free to give me a drunken, slurred, howdy on the beach and I’ll try to give you a nod without falling on my ass, but no promises.