Students Take Week Off From School Week Before Break Students Take Week Off From School Week Before Break
With spring break about 24 hours, 23 minutes, and 12 seconds after the publishing of this article (but who is counting, right?), every student... Students Take Week Off From School Week Before Break

With spring break about 24 hours, 23 minutes, and 12 seconds after the publishing of this article (but who is counting, right?), every student still in College Station, present company included, has honestly stopped giving a flying [email protected]$#.

“OMG school sucks,” said Becky Summers, just now. “I hate that I’m not on a beach or drinking or at home on my couch slowly becoming an immobile vegetable. I’ll just scribble something down on my test and worry about the grade when I get back.”

Summers is not the only one turning in assignments that could only be described as “absolute crap.”

“These assignments are absolute crap,” says every professor employed by the Texas A&M System.  “The week before Spring Break, everything these students touch spontaneously turns into huge piles of elephant excrement.”

Will students be able to pull their grades around? Will we all survive the actual hangover that is the week following Spring Break? Do I honestly care what the answers are?

Not a chance.

I’m too lazy for a conclusion. I’m calling it a week. Feel free to give me a drunken, slurred, howdy on the beach and I’ll try to give you a nod without falling on my ass, but no promises.

#SB2k16

-Beutel Call

mm

Beutel Call

After we watched him bounce out of the bed of an old F-150 on his way to the Beutel Health Center because he sliced his leg fighting a dinosaur fossil, he professed his life story to us, speaking highly of his many exploits rescuing road kill. We soon learned Beutel has a large poster with his face on every bulletin board labeled “DO NOT ADMIT. WILL POCKET TONGUE DEPRESSORS AND STICK BAND-AIDS TO WAITING ROOM CEILING.”

No comments so far.

Be first to leave comment below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *