Student Senate Targets FLO Student Senate Targets FLO
Texas A&M University and the student body have faced many problems and controversies in the last year, from on-campus concealed carry to recent acts... Student Senate Targets FLO

Texas A&M University and the student body have faced many problems and controversies in the last year, from on-campus concealed carry to recent acts of racism, and many are wondering what can be done. Student Senate has been hard at work coming up with the solution that will hopefully help resolve some of these issues.

Aaron Mitchell, Speaker of the Senate, is very excited about the comprehensive solution the senate has formed and passed.

“Of the recent problems brought to light, we feel that Fish Aides is the one that deserves the most attention, and we plan on completely reforming this reviled organization.  By restructuring this Freshman Leadership Organization of 40 students, we hope to create positive and lasting change on our campus of 58,000. We know that this is well worth our time, and will overall benefit the entire student body senate.”

Fish Aides was the original FLO and therefore the root of all of the senate’s and the university’s problems. Because Fish Aides falls under the Student Government umbrella, they are vaguely in the reach of the Senate’s small and insignificant jurisdiction and power. The Faides, a lowly servant of its powerful Senate-led SGA master, clearly need reform. The crucial legislation, which will reimagine the FLO into a senate internship program, passed with a sweeping majority 34-10 with 22 senators not voting, including a major cosponsor.

After ones of meetings and at least a single email exchanged with Fish Aides leadership, Aubre Dean, Speaker Pro Tempore and co-author of the bill, explained the origin of the bill.

“Senate has a long list of issues that have been brought to our attention. We brainstormed what the cause could be and strongly feel that this bill to reform Fish Aides is the best way to focus our energy. By dedicating precious time in our meeting to openly discuss the poor performance and shortcomings of these 18 year olds, we really feel like we are serving our constituents well.”

Commons Lobbyist and 5K for Yell

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Commons Lobbyist

Everyone’s favorite person to talk to on their break at work: the guy obsessed with politics. You’ve been working for five hours now and nothing is more sacred to you than this all too short half hour to relax, but guess who’s waiting in the break room for someone to talk to. Again. Sure, try and quote that headline you read two or three months ago. It doesn’t matter, the Commons Lobbyist knows he’s better informed than you. He could smell it on you as soon as you rounded that corner.

  • Marshalk

    March 1, 2016 #1 Author

    This wouldn’t be funny if it didn’t feel so accurate.

    Reply

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