Speaker of the Student Senate, Aaron Mitchell, announced a new bill Wednesday to keep campus safe in light of the Texas State Senate and surrounding controversy.
“The Campus Cary bill will keep all students grounded in conservative values and protect us from infringements on our personal liberties,” said Mitchell. “A personal Cary for every student is the best way I know how to reduce liberal bias and in cases of self defense, it really packs a wollup! Who needs a devil on your shoulder when you’ve got a Cary in your holster?”
Cary Cheshire doesn’t disapprove of this message.