Friday, March 29, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Surveys to Settle Every Campus Dispute: Boo vs Hiss


Recent controversy over how Aggies respond to questionable calls during football games has prompted the 12th Man Foundation to sponsor an interactive poll at the upcoming game versus the South Carolina Gamecocks. In the spirit of Halloween, attendees of the game are asked to dress in costume representing which side of the boo or hiss debate they agree with.

Per the press release, members of Team Boo have been instructed to don ghost costumes, while hiss proponents are to wear either horse or snake costumes. The costume votes will be tallied using an advanced terapixel panorama of the stadium taken at halftime, and the winning group’s noise will become the official sound of disapproval of the 12th Man.

Zachary Lawrence, Head Yell Leader, has announced that for the first time in recent memory, yell leaders will not be wearing their all-white uniforms for the game. To show their support for the more traditional hiss, the three senior yell leaders will be dressing up as horses while the junior members will be dressing up as snakes. This is also being done to avoid the white outfits being mistaken as ghostly attire, which could lead to a potentially messy recount; and we all know how the Yell Leaders hate recounts. Members of the Corps will be allowed to support whichever side they wish, but “only if that side is hissing,” per a directive from the Commandant’s office.

“Texas A&M represents respect and hospitality, and we need to embody that, even when we are angry,” Lawrence said. “Booing goes against everything the Aggie family stands for. We need to use a sound that conveys the exact same message as booing, just more quietly. It will be difficult yelling through the horse mask, but the senior yell leaders are willing to sacrifice for this great institution.”

Members of Team Boo are jumping at the chance to impact Aggie culture. White linens have been flying off the shelves at local stores, and scissor sales are at an all-time high. Students are going the extra mile to leave their mark on a crowded landscape of traditions. Many are hoping their efforts will stand the test of time, or until another irrational yet idealistic belief becomes more popular.

“For years, students have wanted to give a ghost laugh instead of a horse laugh. It’s time that the students took a stand on an issue of importance” said Alfred Schreier, a junior Anthropology student, while cutting holes into an old sheet.

Visiting South Carolina fans are encouraged to partake in the poll, and have received an email from Texas A&M asking them to dress accordingly in Kyle Field, to express which condescending noise they would prefer be directed at them.