KINE Overhaul: Mind over Matter KINE Overhaul: Mind over Matter
Despite the major on the transcript, there is one thing that all students have in common: sweat. Not the “I didn’t know I had... KINE Overhaul: Mind over Matter

Despite the major on the transcript, there is one thing that all students have in common: sweat.

Not the “I didn’t know I had an 8:00 a.m test and slept in until noon” brand of sweat, but the “you are an adult, but we don’t trust you to exercise on your own” kind. This, of course, refers to the notorious kinesiology classes that each student is required to suffer through. But due to recent changes on campus, the way students sweat their way to a degree will never be the same.

In the most recent session of the Faculty Senate- the organization responsible for setting curriculum- a complete overhaul of the Kinesiology requirement was voted into action.

“The requirements in place simply were not cutting it,” reported Senate Speaker Jim Woosley. “The kind of physical activity that students are being exposed to is not the kind of thing that we as a university are looking for.”

According to the recent amendments, several class requirements will be drastically different. For example, one hour KINE 199 classes will now only count for a single elective credit and won’t fulfil the KINE requirement. Classes such as aerobic running, racquetball, and basketball do not provide students with adequate physical activity. Several KINE classes are scheduled to be introduced in the spring to fill the void, including but not limited to:

KINE 199-502 (Philosophies of Team Sports)

KINE 199-589 (Baseball Statistics)

KINE 199- 592 (Sportsmanship ethics)

KINE 199-595 (Wii Sports)

KINE 199-598 (Fantasy Football)

KINE 199-700 (The Marathon in Greek History)

These changes were prompted by similar amendments made to classes earlier this year.

“Since we prudently prevented courses such as Concert Band, Jazz Ensemble, and Orchestra from providing a ‘Visual and Performing Arts’ credit, it would be foolhardy to not keep the ball rolling in other departments,”  Faculty Senate Caucus Leader Jonathan Coopersmith proudly asserted. “Instead of crediting VPA credits for performing art, we put more value in appreciating it from an academic distance. In the same way, future students will be learning and thinking about physical activity. In the end, isn’t that more important than actually participating?”

-Beutal Call

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Beutel Call

After we watched him bounce out of the bed of an old F-150 on his way to the Beutel Health Center because he sliced his leg fighting a dinosaur fossil, he professed his life story to us, speaking highly of his many exploits rescuing road kill. We soon learned Beutel has a large poster with his face on every bulletin board labeled “DO NOT ADMIT. WILL POCKET TONGUE DEPRESSORS AND STICK BAND-AIDS TO WAITING ROOM CEILING.”

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