After a disturbing series of events, it was discovered Tuesday afternoon that the new resting place of our beloved former Reveilles has been desecrated by none other than Reveille IX.
Freshman Business major Chad Stevens was the first to discover the scene. “I was on my way to the gym to knock out leg day, when I saw Miss Rev running away from the memorial. At first, I thought it was adorable how she was running around and playing like a regular dog, but then I saw the bone dangling from her mouth…”
According to a statement released by the Aggie Honor Council, Reveille IX escaped from her dorm late Monday night. She proceeded to make her way to the Academic Plaza where she harassed the campus squirrels, left to leave her mark on Kyle Field, and then finally walked over to the graves of our former Reveilles. Once there, Reveille IX managed to dig up and remove the bones of three former Reveilles.
“She was sprinting right at me; her paws were black with the dirt of her victims’ graves and her crime. Her muzzle dripped with mud, a rotting bone trapped between her teeth. The Aggies’ goddess is but a mere mutt,” said a Theatre Arts Major who asked to be referred to as Absinthe.
The Texas A&M Corps of Cadets released a statement early Wednesday morning. “We are horrified by the actions of Miss Reveille. As a general, the highest ranking member of the corps, and as a lady, we expect her to behave just as any respected official of the university should. This animalistic behavior was completely unexpected. “
Talk of removing Reveille’s title has been mentioned by University officials. Although a large number of students seem to agree that Reveille should be stripped of her title and position, others believe Reveille’s behavior wasn’t all that out of line.
“Well, she’s a dog,” said Elle Thompson. “Dogs dig stuff up and like to chew on bones. Yeah, she is the lady of Aggieland or whatever, but she still poops outside and pees on trees.”
The University plans on returning the bones and restoring the site before this weekend’s game. As for Miss Rev, she has shown very few signs of remorse, nor has she released any statement of her own regarding the situation.