MRS Grad Struggles to Find Work MRS Grad Struggles to Find Work
With December graduation fast approaching, the class of 2015 waits with bated breath to make their way out into the real world. Some will... MRS Grad Struggles to Find Work

With December graduation fast approaching, the class of 2015 waits with bated breath to make their way out into the real world. Some will be graduating with jobs, and two sets of rings. Others, however, are not so lucky.

Indeed, times are certainly tough for the MRS major. Unemployment rates have reached unprecedented levels over the years, and landing a rich, successful spouse come graduation is proving to be the exception, rather than the rule.

“You know, you get four, five, maybe even six years to find a match, and to think I wasted all this time and money…I just wish I had listened to my mother and switched to business,” said Lauren Wylie, soon to be graduated senior MRS major. “I had some options -Psychology, English, and Art majors mostly – but they could never support me like a man.”

As bad as things are for the female MRS graduates, they absolutely pale in comparison to their male counterparts. “I always knew this major would be difficult, but I never thought the job market would get this bad. When did being a doting, hot house-husband go out of style?” said junior MRS major Ed Rebar.

It seems that more and more students these days are focused on their careers rather than finding a significant other. Many of the statistically highest paying majors are entering the workforce painfully single.

“I’m just really focused on jumpstarting the career of my dreams, and having a partner could really jeopardize that. Lord knows I need some action, but not that bad,” said senior Computer Science major Raymond Laborde.

“I just think I would be too busy for a stay-at-home husband, but that Chad Gibson sure is dreamy…I’m sorry what was I saying?” said Angela Benson, a senior Mechanical Engineering major.

Despite data suggesting that this career-focused trend will continue, many students still flock to this attractive major with open arms and big dreams. Hopefully, things will improve for these hardworking students.  

– Plug Down for Watt

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Plug Down for Watt

Plug Down for Watt failed the Turing Test. I guess that means she’s a robot or a computer or something? I mean, it would explain a few things, like her perfect spelling and math skills, but she has a heart that no computer could ever have. Plug’s too funny to be a computer anyways! So maybe she’s a cyborg. A cyborg who’s on our side.

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