BREAKING:  Aggie Swallows Ring at Ring Dunk BREAKING:  Aggie Swallows Ring at Ring Dunk
Tragedy struck today on Fightin’ Texas Aggie Ring Day. As the masses descended upon  College Station to celebrate the earning of shiny new Aggie... BREAKING:  Aggie Swallows Ring at Ring Dunk

Tragedy struck today on Fightin’ Texas Aggie Ring Day. As the masses descended upon  College Station to celebrate the earning of shiny new Aggie Rings with friends and family, one senior descended into chaos.  This morning, Aggies with the required 90 hours of completed coursework gathered outside the Alumni Center to receive the gold they’ve been anticipating for years. For Jessica White, the anticipation was perhaps a bit too high.  

White, a senior English major, didn’t even wait until the evening for her ring dunk.  At 11 am, she was guzzling down her pitcher of stale beer in front of an enthusiastic audience, when she looked to the bottom of the container and noticed that there was no ring.  She realized, in a sudden moment of clarity, that her throat was bulging.  In the rush and excitement of downing 1.5 liters of  Michelob Ultra, White had actually swallowed her ring.  

“I didn’t know what to do,” she said. “All I could think was I had just swallowed $500!”  

White tried to cough up the 14 carats but met little success. She even threw up the entire pitcher of beer– though not for the purpose of retrieving the ring. The ring remained in her stomach. 

White is currently being treated at St. Joseph Regional Hospital in Bryan, and her friends and family have set up a GoFundMe campaign to help cover the cost of ordering a new ring or having the necessary medical treatments done.

“As much as we want to raise money for Sydney to get a new ring, we also want to spread awareness to the Aggie family about the hazards of ring dunking,” said Kerry Kyle, a close friend of White. “Students need to know that drinking cheap beer is dangerous, a strong Guinness makes you drink slower and reduces the risk of swallowing a ring.”

As ring dunks become more competitive, the risk of swallowing your ring increases. But drinking $500 to $1000 in 16 seconds will also make a great story.

 

Safe Dunking,
Century TreeHarmony

mm

Century treeHarmony

Century treeHarmony and Lonely Lighter met at a speed dating convention and immediately bonded over their inability to communicate with the male sex. She has never faced the ill fate of walking under the Century Tree alone, but once had a close call with the Friendzone Branch. She describes the incident as the closest she wants to get to starring in an episode of "Beyond Scared Straight" and has since installed a shock collar system around the tree which she uses to warn herself if ever approaching the tree inadvertently.

No comments so far.

Be first to leave comment below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *