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Student Athlete Tears ACL in Failed Ring Dunk

By E. King Trill , in Sports , at April 27, 2015 Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

College-wide inebriation and overused puns are in full force here at Texas A&M as #RingDunkSZN is now upon us. While Ring Day is a day to celebrate with friends and family, get engaged, or realize how few friends you actually have, most Aggies look forward to one thing and one thing only, the infamous Ring Dunk.

Dunking one’s ring is a time-honored tradition here in Aggieland, but one Texas A&M Basketball player, who wishes to remain anonymous, decided to take his Ring Dunk to a new level.

The injured player, who lead the team in both blocks and points per game in the last half of the Aggie’s most recent season, was rumored to have torn his ACL this past Saturday night. The anonymous 6 foot 7 male player from Sugar Land, Texas was confirmed by head athletic trainer Matt Doles to be taking some time to recover. Doles has been on the Texas A&M sidelines for 10 seasons now, and when asked to comment about the injury he couldn’t help but become irked.

“It was laughable, irresponsible even,” said Doles. “In my many years of sports, I have never seen something so stupid.”

Doles would not elaborate on the situation any further other than this injury will end this young man’s next season before it begins.

It was first reported via his own Facebook announcement that the anonymous student-athlete, with the permission of Reed Arena General Manager, Leslie Lamkin, would hold his Ring Dunk on the court of Reed Arena.

“We had full faith in all parties involved that nothing but a Ring Dunk would occur…We made sure that no basketball activities were to take place,” Lamkin said. However, based on eyewitness reports along with a brief search through the Twitter-sphere, the injury was confirmed: a freak accident involving the literal slam-dunking of an Aggie Ring.

Critics have been quick to argue that a free-throw would have been preferable so as to avoid the injury, but it would have been admittedly less glamorous, nor would the shot have been guaranteed. It can only be assumed that such an idea came after the traditional Ring Drunk, as only someone who drinks five beers in 30 seconds would think this was a good idea.

*We here at The Mugdown would like to congratulate all of those who have received their rings and remind you all both to drink and dunk responsibly. Just kidding, if you don’t dunk your ring in under 20 seconds, you’re not a real Aggie.

-E. King Trill