Why Liberal Arts is Super Dumb Why Liberal Arts is Super Dumb
Once upon a time, there were dumb people who did not want to be engineers. There people are Liberal Arts majors. Why do they... Why Liberal Arts is Super Dumb

Once upon a time, there were dumb people who did not want to be engineers. There people are Liberal Arts majors. Why do they want to be Liberal Arts? In my opinion it is because they do not understand why engineers are so great, and now I will tell you why. Because I am an engineer and I know that I am right and here is why that is.

My first point is that engineers do much good in the world. We build bridges and houses and schools and medicines and everything else is the whole wide world. While we do all of the good things, liberal arts majors do not do any of the good things. All they do I read and write and that is all. I think that all of that is super pointless. There has never been anything good that came from books. Uncle Tom’s Cabin did not make people say that slavery is dumb. Even books that people say are classical are mega dumb. Why do I need to read The Lord of the Rings when I can watch the movie? The movie is better anyway. I think that the second Lord of the Rings movie is the best one.

Some of the things that liberal arts does is not real. What I mean when I say that some of the things that liberal arts do is not real is that sometimes it is theoretical. This is dumber than anything that can be done in a different college. All of the math and formulas that we do is always based on things in the real world. It is never made up. Never. It is always real.

The world is super simple, not like formulas and math. Majors like history and political science and international studies do not make a difference not even a little one. The people that are in Washington make all of the laws anyway, I don’t think that understanding how the system works make it go good. I trust the people who live in a place that almost won two Super Bowels in a row. And I do not need to know all of the stuff that happened a billion years ago. That is what Google is for. A engineer probably made Google, so history is less then engineering.

Lastly, I want to convince the people that are reading this that even an engineer can do what liberal arts does, except that I can do it more good. Writing is not hard, and even though people in the real world do not need to use it ever, engineers could still do it super good. In conclusion, liberal arts is a pointless thing. If an engineer was to try to write something and sound all of the kinds of professional, I can.

The End

-Beutel Call

mm

Beutel Call

After we watched him bounce out of the bed of an old F-150 on his way to the Beutel Health Center because he sliced his leg fighting a dinosaur fossil, he professed his life story to us, speaking highly of his many exploits rescuing road kill. We soon learned Beutel has a large poster with his face on every bulletin board labeled “DO NOT ADMIT. WILL POCKET TONGUE DEPRESSORS AND STICK BAND-AIDS TO WAITING ROOM CEILING.”

  • Drew Peacock

    April 14, 2015 #1 Author

    Let them get into the REAL WORLD and they will see what FAIR IS ALL ABOUT !!! RUTHLESS KILL or be KILLED !!! In the real world of business it isn’t all buddies and ice cream sandwiches. WATCH OUT !!!! Everyone at Texas A&M pays taxes and funds the school everyone has the RIGHT to be a yell leader !!!! It isn’t a DICTATORSHIP or SOCIALIST REGIME. PLEASE REMEMBER what makes Texas A&M University the best University in the Country it is our diversification. No ignorant youth should be allowed to oppress anyone especially a tuition paying student who wants to run or serve.

    Reply

    • JMART

      April 14, 2015 #2 Author

      you for serious, bro?

      Reply

    • Randy Bernhoft

      April 14, 2015 #3 Author

      Drew can we be friends?

      Reply

    • atomic1annie

      April 15, 2015 #4 Author

      Is this for real? Yikes.

      Reply

    • streever

      May 2, 2015 #5 Author

      I felt mad reading this bc it’s such a believable parody!

      Reply

  • MAS

    April 14, 2015 #6 Author

    this made me chuckle! nice one.

    Reply

  • Jessica

    April 14, 2015 #7 Author

    I love when you’re 95% sure that an article is satirical but that 5% of doubt makes it all the better.

    Reply

    • The Mugdown

      April 14, 2015 #8 Author

      Satirical?

      Reply

      • Jessica

        April 14, 2015 #9 Author

        Lmao, I just read the “texas A&M’s first satirical newspaper”

        Reply

  • Aryu Foreal

    April 14, 2015 #10 Author

    Is this for real…or is it intended to sound like the ramblings of an uneducated fool–I mean engineer.

    Reply

  • Potato

    April 14, 2015 #11 Author

    This is satire…right?

    Reply

  • google

    April 15, 2015 #13 Author

    Thank you for this. You have written this article so perfectly good. Brilliant.

    Reply

  • a engineer

    April 15, 2015 #14 Author

    I thought this was much funny. You write good.

    Reply

  • Richard

    April 15, 2015 #15 Author

    Brought to you by a liberal arts major who didn’t even get enough out of their “education” to write a convincing strawman article. Inspired by the frustration of not being able to land a job paying over $30k.

    Reply

    • Jer

      April 15, 2015 #16 Author

      Richard, those are both sentence fragments.

      Reply

      • Intrepid

        April 16, 2015 #17 Author

        Subject and verb were implied. It’s a thing people do.

        Reply

    • thinkuh

      April 17, 2015 #18 Author

      Richard,
      Pretty clear you didn’t get a Liberal Arts education. You can’t even understand the difference between an argument and satire. Good luck, bro!

      Reply

    • Harvey Calef Vazquez

      April 18, 2015 #19 Author

      That seems to be the case. What made me laugh is that my writing skills are the one thing that I need to work at. I am a mechanical engineering major.

      Reply

    • TheTruthHurts

      April 19, 2015 #20 Author

      Convincing? What do you mean? Did you feel that we were supposed to be convinced this was a real person’s opinion piece, or are you upset that the “engineer’s” arguments are completely inane? This question was brought to you by a music major who earns over 50K after training formally in music for 11 years.

      Reply

    • AUselessPerson

      April 29, 2015 #21 Author

      Well, you’re welcom for the legal infrastructure and support that allows you to make money and build or be a part of a business as an engineer. If you’re descended from immigrants, a female, or a minority you’re welcome for the intellectual tradition and framework that gave you the opportunity to make that much money and be in a university. If you’re a human in the U.S., you’re welcome for the economic strategies and theory that maintain the economy that allows you to make that money.
      xoxoxo,
      useless and bitter liberal arts majors

      Reply

    • Lilly Mays

      February 9, 2016 #22 Author

      I’ll be making 6 figures before I’m 24 years old in liberal arts major. Awkward…..

      Reply

    • Lel, the people replying to you don’t know what air quotes are (or more formally, Irony Punctuation), which is even more ironic considering they should at least know /that/ with their liberal arts “degree”.

      Or maybe they are just trying to get any criticism they can push into that argument – in another thread another liberal arts major is complaining about how Richard didn’t include the [This is] or [It was] in front of his sentences, despite the fact that a fifth-grader would be able to read the sentence naturally and understand the meaning immediately without any stumbling. Its just another standard rule in English, you can leave off the subject if it can be reliably implied.

      Reply

  • iceman

    April 15, 2015 #24 Author

    GOOD ONE!

    Reply

  • gb

    April 16, 2015 #25 Author

    Why would anyone thing The Two Towers was the best Lord of the Rings Movie!

    Reply

    • Ben

      April 19, 2015 #26 Author

      I cried when Gandalf came over the mountain.

      Reply

  • Hanna

    April 16, 2015 #27 Author

    Double plus good, my friend.

    Reply

  • Brett Leonardo

    April 16, 2015 #28 Author

    As an engineer, I agree with all of this. Ahahaha.

    Honestly, the only time I (or my other engineering friends) give Liberal Arts flack is if they complain directly to me that they have lots of homework. Nah brah.

    Reply

  • Icky T

    April 16, 2015 #29 Author

    Somebody sounds upset that their liberal arts “degree” is only making them $15k/year.

    Reply

    • Kevin Caliendo, PhD (@kacaliendo)

      April 17, 2015 #30 Author

      Your use of quotes is confusing. Is it not actually a degree? Someone should have paid more attention in those worthless liberal arts classes.

      Reply

      • Abir Mandal

        April 18, 2015 #31 Author

        Yep it is not a degree. It is a sad excuse paid for by the taxpayers.

        Reply

      • CMR

        April 21, 2015 #32 Author

        This editorial is my favorite thing.

        My second favorite thing? Being lectured on the uses of US tax dollars by insecure, second-generation immigrants that make themselves feel better about their life choices by tearing other people down. Extra points if their parents came from a country that has benefited from US taxpayer-funded aid. Please come here and be condescending to us! We need you.

        Reply

  • champlaineducator

    April 16, 2015 #33 Author

    This is the problem with online writing: the comments section. In the old days, one had to decide for one’s self whether a piece of writing was satirical or not. One had to think about it and arrive at a judgment. Now, one simply asks a bunch of strangers for the assurance that should come from one’s own confidence in one’s intellect. The satire in this piece may be biting, but the comments are a more troubling commentary on the state of critical thinking in this country; they always are.

    Reply

    • Mars

      April 17, 2015 #34 Author

      Or, you know, they could be people who quite honestly have trouble with recognising sarcasm, such as many people on the autistic spectrum.

      Reply

      • SooperDoopiePoopies

        April 17, 2015 #35 Author

        The desktop version of the site states that the site is satire (top left of page). The mobile version requires you to check their menu. Shame on them for not holding our hands, granted how could they with our phone in our hand? “Disclaimer” and “About Us” sections both lead off with letting you know their site is satire.

        Reply

      • Abir Mandal

        April 18, 2015 #36 Author

        I think people recognize sarcasm in general. I still think liberal arts in America are truly useless, now that they are controlled by basically commies who use feelings to spread lies to their students, creating an effective torchbearing mass for leftism.

        Reply

    • Wytchfawn

      April 18, 2015 #37 Author

      If they have to think about it, they don’t get it.

      Reply

  • Mosheh

    April 17, 2015 #38 Author

    To all of those who are trashing Liberal Arts here, like Icky-T, Richard, and Brett Leonardo, I would like to point out the annoying little fact that Mathematics is one of the Liberal Arts. I’m sorry, but that means that Engineering fails without the Liberal Arts.

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

    Reply

  • spiderofdoom

    April 17, 2015 #39 Author

    I think the number of people in here who have to ask “is this satire?” really drives the point home.

    Reply

  • GandalfTheOffWhite

    April 17, 2015 #40 Author

    This is a fairly accurate depiction of engineers’ hubris. That being said, our society currently has a high demand for people in STEM careers and a lack of individuals who are going into those fields. Unfortunately, there aren’t as many opportunities for those in liberal arts and the social sciences, not because they aren’t necessary, but because we don’t require as many to fulfill their role in our culture.

    Reply

    • James

      April 18, 2015 #41 Author

      The point of a liberal arts education isn’t to train people to fill roles within a specific area of study, it is to educate people who can think critically and communicate well no mater what field or profession they enter (even STEM). It is well documented that while only 2% of college graduates hold liberal arts degrees, around 12% of leaders in business, science, industry and government have liberal arts degrees.

      Reply

      • Anton

        April 19, 2015 #42 Author

        I agree with the first part, but I’m confused about where you’re seeing the “2% of college graduates hold liberal arts degrees, ” bit. At least in the USA, roughly a third of all bachelor’s degree holders who received their degree in the past 45 years have a degree in humanities or behavioral/social sciences. Source, if you’re interested: https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d13/tables/dt13_318.20.asp

        Reply

    • junothecat

      April 23, 2015 #43 Author

      It’s actually STEAM now. You can guess what the ‘A’ stands for.

      Reply

  • Nia Mirza

    April 17, 2015 #44 Author

    The one who taught you to phrase sentences and write this article is most prolly a liberal arts graduate.

    Reply

  • Robert Paul

    April 18, 2015 #45 Author

    Before you try to write “satire,” you should learn to write. This piece is as enthralling as chewing Grape-nuts.

    Reply

  • Kelsey Ogg

    April 19, 2015 #46 Author

    You should’ve had a “useless” Liberal Arts major proofread this for you.

    Reply

  • A. D. Antczak

    April 20, 2015 #47 Author

    ROTFLMAO

    Reply

  • Rosie

    April 20, 2015 #48 Author

    This is a great example of how dump an engineer can be

    Reply

  • Rosie

    April 20, 2015 #49 Author

    *dumb

    Reply

  • Mark Jarns

    April 20, 2015 #50 Author

    With only 22% of its budget paid by taxpayers, its not right to call TAMU anything more than “government-subsidized.” Any lower and you could only call it “state-located.” So maybe we shouldn’t be worrying about them “wasting taxpayer dollars” on educating liberal arts majors when it’s clear that many people out there in the world couldn’t write an argument I’d give a C+ to in one of my classes.

    Reply

  • wills

    April 21, 2015 #51 Author

    As a fellow engineering student, I can now understand why everyone says engineers need more English classes. This was written poorly; each paragraph was too dense and confusing, not to mention there were only about 2 sentences in each. To me, this was incomprehensiable muttering. All because you’re smart in science and math does not excuse you for your poor writing skills!

    Reply

  • liberalFARTSdegree

    April 30, 2015 #53 Author

    At the end of the day, we all know what’s really going on–the more difficult college majors pay more. There is a reason STEM field graduates are at an all time low, because of the difficulty. The only people who choose to major in liberal arts are the ones who are forced to go to college by their parents. Only the students who care about their future major in the STEM fields. I especially hate when liberal arts majors complain about the amount of work they receive. Who would trust to build you a bridge, the lazy liberal arts major who can barely do simple arithmetic (after failing college algebra 3x), or the engineer, who has a much more difficult curriculum. Have fun learning about the civil war, reading about Shakespeare, and writing 20 pages about why the sky was arbitrarily blue in Edgar Allen Poe’s poem, I’m gonna go build something and be useful to society!!!

    Reply

  • Jack

    May 6, 2015 #54 Author

    “Build things” as if the world isn’t already (too) full of builded things

    Reply

  • Jack

    May 6, 2015 #55 Author

    *built

    Reply

  • kanika

    May 18, 2015 #56 Author

    quite a stupid article..i was looking for employment statistics for arts vs stem but google made me read this dumb article! r u serious?

    Reply

  • Lel, the people replying to you don’t know what air quotes (or more formally, irony punctuation) is, which is odd considering they should at least know /that/ with their liberal arts “degree”.

    Reply

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