Beautiful Playing in the MSC Flag Room Makes Youth Doubt Self Worth Beautiful Playing in the MSC Flag Room Makes Youth Doubt Self Worth
The MSC flag room is a cozy spot frequently visited by students hoping to relax, unwind, and study.  The seating options are plentiful, the... Beautiful Playing in the MSC Flag Room Makes Youth Doubt Self Worth

The MSC flag room is a cozy spot frequently visited by students hoping to relax, unwind, and study.  The seating options are plentiful, the chairs themselves comfortable, the lighting moody, the decor lovely, the atmosphere homey, the people friendly, and the piano playing beautiful.

Yesterday, however, it was discovered that the soothing music was perhaps a bit too beautiful for a certain Dylan McKinney, a junior business major from Beaumont, Texas. Yes, the reason that so many choose to study here has become a cause for distress to the young student.

“You see,” said McKinney, “I know the pianist is supposed to be good, but this guy—this guy was something else. As soon as he started playing, I stopped my studying and started doubting everything I’ve ever done.”

The piano has been a staple to the MSC flag room since its inception in 1951. In that time, thousands of players have graced the piano’s keys to play Mozart, Beethoven, and the occasional Disney.

When asked to elaborate, McKinney simply said, “I don’t know man…I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. This whole college thing may not be good for me”.

Strangely, McKinney is not alone. The music seems to have affected quite a few others, all of whom reported similar feelings of despair, anguish, self-loathing, doubt, anger, and self-pity.

The mysterious musician has not been found or identified, but the school is taking the necessary precautions, such as increasing security at every piano at the school, to ensure the safety of its students.

-Plug Down for Watt

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Plug Down for Watt

Plug Down for Watt failed the Turing Test. I guess that means she’s a robot or a computer or something? I mean, it would explain a few things, like her perfect spelling and math skills, but she has a heart that no computer could ever have. Plug’s too funny to be a computer anyways! So maybe she’s a cyborg. A cyborg who’s on our side.

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