Thursday, March 28, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Senior Finishes Netflix


After finishing the last episode of “Paranormal Home Inspectors,” senior James Werther realized that he had watched the totality of the Netflix library. There were no shows to be recommended. There were no hours to be procrastinated. It was finished.

“I kind of have mixed feelings about it. I mean, it is a pretty big deal to finish Netflix, but I have no idea what to do with my time now,” said Werther. “I guess I could try homework, but let’s be honest for a second—my options are basically limited to naps and Buzzfeed.”

Werther has spent the majority of his afternoons and evenings working on his goal of completing the Netflix library. He suffered through countless documentaries and foreign language dramas, but he says it was all worth it.

“To be honest, I am proud of my accomplishment,” said Werther. “It started off as a way to kill time, but eventually turned into a passion—an obsession.”

Now that his goal is completed, Werther has turned his attention to bigger things—like the classes he has neglected for the last three and a half years.

“Netflix was great, but ultimately, as a mechanical engineer, I think I have some catching up to do,” said Werther. “I’m pretty sure I have about three or four textbooks to read and a couple group projects I completely ignored, but hey, if I can finish Netflix, I can do literally anything.”

Werther’s favorite shows include “House of Cards,” “Breaking Bad,” and all seven seasons of “Gilmore Girls.” During our interview, we mentioned that Netflix would be adding the third season of “House of Cards” later this month.

Werther was shocked and said, “Well, guess I will have to graduate a semester later.”

Netflix refused to comment on the accomplishment, but we believe Werther was the first to complete the entire Netflix library.

Werther accepted a job with Exxon Mobile as a chemical engineer and will be starting work in fall of 2015.

-Cactus Jack