MUSLIMS IN MAYS: ISYS on the Rise MUSLIMS IN MAYS: ISYS on the Rise
With the conclusion of the add/drop period, class rosters have been finalized, and new statistics indicate a sharp increase in the number of muslim... MUSLIMS IN MAYS: ISYS on the Rise

With the conclusion of the add/drop period, class rosters have been finalized, and new statistics indicate a sharp increase in the number of muslim students in Mays Business School’s ISYS programs. Many students are now posing the question: is the movement peaceful or something more hostile?

ISYS specialists proved an effective force last September when they overtook the Business Career Fair. While the Muslim Student Association publicly denounced ISYS extremism, that did not stop many students from voicing concern over the recent spike in ISYS activity on campus.

Regarding the infiltration of ISYS in University Career Fairs, Billy Ray Jackson, senior Agribusiness major and member of the Aggie Conservatives, claimed that “they took our hijobs!” A troubling sign for students looking to get a leg up at next week’s Business Career Fair.

Hijabs
When confronted on their recent activities, the Muslim Student Association stated that their only event this semester thus far has been making sandwiches at the Brazos Valley Food Bank.

Hardly a week into the semester and they admit to a clear attempt at hijacking Bryan’s volunteer hours from hardworking Finance and Management students. It is no wonder tensions between the university’s Muslim population and business majors are at an all time high.

How does Texas A&M respond? By cutting funds and resources from other locations, most notably the Department of Finance, and reallocating them to the growing ISYS training programs, or “courses” as the university prefers to call them. Thanks to university funding ISYS has become one of the fastest growing sects on campus. Upon completion, ISYS “graduates” leave these programs with the leadership and technical skills to overrun offices and small workplaces.

It is a true tragedy when ISYS clears out employment opportunities from hard-working American students. These hijinks hijack hiree’s hijobs.

-Honey Bear

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Honey Bear

Is the name ironic? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, he’s been called that for longer than anyone has known him. He’s a sociopath and we don’t like talking with him very much. So when the man says he’s called Honey Bear, we make damn sure to call him Honey Bear. He gets his articles turned in on time though, so we keep him around.

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