An Open Letter from Your Bus Driver An Open Letter from Your Bus Driver
Some people hate me. Some people don’t even realize I exist. However, some people will follow me to the ends of the earth. I... An Open Letter from Your Bus Driver

Some people hate me. Some people don’t even realize I exist. However, some people will follow me to the ends of the earth. I am your humble Spirit Bus driver, and I’ve embarked on a quest to experiment on the fragile minds of the students of Texas A&M.

Jason Hurdle once sprinted a quarter mile along side my door in hopes that I would let him in.

Hayden Thumps started beating the door as I drove past his Route 15 stop.

In your weakest moments, I flash the “Out of Service” notice.

But my favorite shade of desperation is the long-distance haul. As a driver, when you see someone a good distance away that you know is coming for your bus, you have two choices, really: wait or drive away.

I personally like to toy with my prey. I see them coming, make sure to lock eyes to show them that I see them. Then, I shut my door. This puts an extra bit of desperation in their eyes. They increase speed. Next, I take off the parking brake to show them that I’m ready to move. This is the kiss of death to them. They now have two choices: haul (red)ass to my bus or give up and wait for the next bus.

It’s during this internal strife that I am at my best. As soon as I see which decision they’ve made, I act.

Tuesday morning, I was sitting in my Route 6 bus outside the MSC. I saw Heather White just passing Rudder Statue. I had only just arrived, but she didn’t know this. For all she knew, I was ready to depart. As she made her way through the ‘free speech zone’ she must have thought she had a shot at making my bus. When she made it to the eye contact phase, I locked eyes and nodded. She showed relief. Then, I closed my door, this caused her to do a skip step to pick up her pace. Just as soon as she began at the new faster pace, I lifted my brake. She made an all-out sprint, almost knocking over an elderly professor to reach me.

Now, usually, once I’ve seen them commit, I take off and leave them running for nothing, but this one was special. She ran as hard as she could until she reached me. Once she was on board, I waited four whole minutes to depart.

Welcome to my world, you are all just along for the ride.

-Commons Lobbyist

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Commons Lobbyist

Everyone’s favorite person to talk to on their break at work: the guy obsessed with politics. You’ve been working for five hours now and nothing is more sacred to you than this all too short half hour to relax, but guess who’s waiting in the break room for someone to talk to. Again. Sure, try and quote that headline you read two or three months ago. It doesn’t matter, the Commons Lobbyist knows he’s better informed than you. He could smell it on you as soon as you rounded that corner.

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