As the school year comes to a close, we’d like to take time to reflect on the many historic events that occurred this semester.
1. The Mugdown was Born
We didn’t choose the mug life. The mug life chose us. Like Luke Skywalker or Joseph Stalin, destiny was flung upon us. January 25th, 2014, the Maroon Lampoon was born. The comedy gods called and we answered. One week later the Maroon Lampoon died. BUT from the ashes, a stronger paper rose and the Mugdown was born.
2. Kyle Field Began Renovations
With the conclusion of another football season came the beginning of Kyle Field’s facelift. Right now it has only had half its botox injections, but you can rest assured, the Kyle-oseum will be a total babe when all is said and done.
3. Texas A&M Announced the Transition from Pepsi to Coca-Cola
The announcement everyone had been waiting for, despite the fact that A&M has half a decade left of its contract with Pepsi. Watching people learn the truth behind this charade was like watching a child learn the truth about Santa. Hilarious.
This year featured some big events, if you consider a former student body president rising from the dead and writing letters about the seedy underbelly of TAMU politics a big event. It also gave us a chance to see that if you put your mind to it, you can do whatever you want—even impeach the student body president. House of Koldus continued to entertain.
5. Literal Boot Chasers Terrorized Campus
As the cold winter weather crept its way out of College Station, Boot Chasers crept back in. While there’s nothing like watching a man in uniform, there’s also nothing like watching a man in uniform run for his life. MRS Degrees aren’t awarded, they’re won in battle.
6. Century Treeson
Spitting in the face of a century’s worth of tradition (a running theme this semester), two students took to showing their love by etching their names into the century tree and onto the hate list of Aggies everywhere. While it was likely the work of two star-crossed lovers, as Aggies we can never rule out our good tree-hugging friends in Austin.
7. A New SBP was Elected
This was the year of the KKKK in TAMU SGA. Kyle Kelly and Kasey Kram ran the Student Body President Elections like the quality of student life may actually depend on it. After doing research on presidency and the effects of hair loss, another strong candidate, Richmond Howard, dropped the race. Using the hashtag #youcoulddoworse, Johnny Gustafson became the most written-in candidate in Texas A&M history, while our own endorsed candidate, Bailey Burrus, sold students on his vision of dining dollars in the Post Oak Mall. #GigtheVote
When you think of Easter, what comes to mind? Did you say awkwardly sitting on the lap of a man dressed as the Easter Bunny? Then your childhood was as scarring as ours. We like to think every good season of Easter deserves an egg hunt and we gave Texas A&M a hunt indeed. We hid over 300 easter eggs on campus. It was a great day for the site and everyone involved . . . except for that one dude who walked under the Century Tree for a special egg.
10. The UT Class Ring
I think one of our commenters summed things up well: “Nothing more pathetic than a bunch of 40 somethings with a closet full of maroon, orange, red and black or whatever who have nothing better to do than to hang onto the glory days of college. Get a life!” It’s people like you, who constantly inspire us to keep writing. So, thank you, comments section.
11. The A&M Football Team Kept Getting Arrested
It was a great semester to be a College Station police officer. There is a rumor that next year at football games, they will just show the players mugshots during their introduction, since those are their most recent photos. Here’s hoping that Kenny Hill is able to pull a JFF and turn an arrest into a Heisman campaign.
The cat is out of the bag. Now all we have to do is put that cat on a taco and put that taco on the actual Fuego menu. We’ll call it…Fuego del Gato. If you ever order a Ron Swanson or heck, even a Mugdown taco, think of us when you eat it. Just don’t be weird about it.
See the Post by Fuego Tortilla Grill.
Since we started just over three months ago, we have been read in over 100 countries. We have had stories published from Paris, London, and even College Station! It has been a privilege to serve the A&M community, and we are only going to get larger and funnier as time goes on. I hope that terrifies you as much as it does us. We may have created a monster; a hilarious and topical monster, who is, as we mentioned earlier, still single.