CARPOOL IMPLEMENTS “CASH CAB” TO PROMOTE SAFE DRINKING HABITS CARPOOL IMPLEMENTS “CASH CAB” TO PROMOTE SAFE DRINKING HABITS
Bottles may be up, but drinking and driving is down. Carpool, a student organization of designated drivers, has found a successful new way to... CARPOOL IMPLEMENTS “CASH CAB” TO PROMOTE SAFE DRINKING HABITS

Bottles may be up, but drinking and driving is down. Carpool, a student organization of designated drivers, has found a successful new way to convince weekend drinkers to hand over the keys: a freaking “Cash Cab”.

“Cash Cab” is a game show held within a taxi where passengers are asked trivia questions in exchange for prizes and a free ride. However, after three wrong answers, the contestants are kicked out.

This monumental change has been swept in with Carpool’s newly appointed staff for the upcoming year.

“The game show ended a few years ago, so we were able to purchase one of their old cabs for cheap.” said Grace Cuda, Carpool’s Director of Finance. “The show may have fizzled out, but it’s popularity sure hasn’t.”

While Carpool’s patrons rarely were willing to wait more than an hour (which has been a problem because the average wait time to be picked up is typically low-balled at 5 hours), many late night drinkers have claimed in their inebriated states that they would “be willing to wait until the sun comes up if it meant I have a chance to ride the Cash Cab.

The Director of Public Relations, Mary Monday said, “Really the best part of the whole thing is that we get to ask a bunch of drunk people trivia questions. You haven’t laughed until you’ve seen a drunk man try to name as many three letter body parts as he can before the red light turns green.”

This last statement has since been corrected by Carpool Chair, Jake Ingle, to say the best part is “people’s faces when you kick them out for getting three questions wrong. Seeing as all our contestants our drunk, we rarely make it far enough to turn off University Drive.”

-Honey Bear


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Honey Bear

Is the name ironic? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, he’s been called that for longer than anyone has known him. He’s a sociopath and we don’t like talking with him very much. So when the man says he’s called Honey Bear, we make damn sure to call him Honey Bear. He gets his articles turned in on time though, so we keep him around.

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