LITERAL BOOT CHASERS TERRORIZE CAMPUS LITERAL BOOT CHASERS TERRORIZE CAMPUS
There is a college stigma that can ne’er be told, and it is the stigma of the infamous and elusive MRS Degree. Many young... LITERAL BOOT CHASERS TERRORIZE CAMPUS

There is a college stigma that can ne’er be told, and it is the stigma of the infamous and elusive MRS Degree. Many young women invade Aggieland every year in search of the perfect man, and most agree that a uniform is one of the most attractive qualities a man can possess.

The phrase “boot chaser” is tossed around in College Station, and it is often applied to any girl who finds any member of the corps attractive and worthy of her attention. But as the years go by, the senior scramble hits. And with senior year comes the all too identifiable senior boots sported by the members of the corps.

Some of these ladies have taken this need to get their ring by spring from a member of the Corps of Cadets and are now chasing senior boys around campus in an attempt to woo them.

“It’s terrifying,” Joshua Redman, senior architecture major and corps member, admitted. “I never know when one [crazed young woman] is going to start running after me.”

Adopting the flock method that women have mastered for centuries, senior corps members have taken to traveling in packs so as to better protect each other.

“We have a few code words if we spot a girl running at us,” Greyson Barter said, a mechanical engineering major and senior cadet. “One word directs us to split up into more of a guerrilla style to hopefully confuse her. Another signals us to link up and move out. All of us are stronger than one of us.”

Barter declined to share what those words were.

One other cadet shared his traumatic story, but wished to remain nameless. He said that he was walking from his math class in Blocker when a woman chased him all the way to Evans Library before tackling him.

“She kept holding out her left hand, wiggling her ring finger, and pleading with me to take her to Yell,” he said. “But I couldn’t do that. First, because it’s spring semester, so we don’t have Yell Practice. And second, because she just assaulted me.”

Campus police are on watch for any senior corps cadet sprinting across campus in his boots. Any alleged “boot chasers” are asked to cease and desist or face consequences of public assault charges.

-Lone Star Lady

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Lone Star Lady

Can you take a guess where she’s from? Go ahead. Take a guess. If you guessed Pakistan, you’re an idiot. She’s from Somalia (We would like to apologize for that joke. It requires a working knowledge of both state and international flags). It was hard not to be interested when we got an application from a pirate. However, we soon realized she doesn’t have a hook, a pegleg, an eyepatch, or even a parrot. Turns out all she has is a large gun, a tiny fishing boat, and an alcohol problem. I suppose that last one’s sort of pirate-y. And hey, how many pirates do you work with?

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